Legislative Demigods
I am a criminal! It is shocking how I’ve managed to evade imprisonment thus far. My crimes: failure to comply with the laws of the land. This moment has been a long time coming. The events leading up to my crimes were set in motion the instant the universe began to expand. When the first elements were being created, and later when the establishment of the universal constants provided the blueprint for the planets, stars, galaxies, and the biological wherewithal for the world we occupy.
The deity of the heavens should have known better. She was foolish and presumptuous to think her sovereignty would remain unchallenged, since her offspring in a tiny pixel of the universe have succeeded in dethroning her. How were they successful you ask? They needn’t bomb her with antimatter. Nor did they impose sanctions on her. War and revolution was also unnecessary. But surely toppling the creator of existence must have required a brilliant display of tactics and weaponry. So how is it these particular beings were successful? Well by statute of course.
Therefore, it is inexcusable when driving on a frictionless surface to ignore the clearly marked road signs and lanes. “They are there for your protection citizen! You could have avoided collision! It is no defense to cite the laws of nature, for our laws supersede your damned deity! Momentum, acceleration, velocity, impulse: such kinematic superstitions are null and void when in conflict with the legislature.”
Of course the supernatural nullification abilities of the legislature aren’t limited to the laws discovered by Newton, Einstein, Planck and others. No. Their ability to overrule nature by simple majority spans every scientific discipline man has devised. Even economic laws are subject to amendment and repeal. Unfortunately, I am also guilty of siding with economic laws when the legislator has voted to suspend them. “Your parents were dumb citizen! They taught you prudence in spending. They advised you to tighten your belt when your pants sag from debt. I am flabbergasted why you would decline to spend your way into prosperity…Not to worry, for I will spend it for you. I have always tried to be forgiving of the handicapped, and will spare you the rod because I am merciful.”
To an alien observer the thought of repealing natures laws by mere statute may seem absurd. Even peasants like me struggle to understand the remarkable abilities of our overlords. Fortunately, a separate evolution has taken place among homo sapiens. One that distinguishes the demigods at the capitol from the rest of us undercooked apes.
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