Hot and Bothered Zombies!
Global Warming has entered its final stages. The first of which is, The Red-Light-District-Sweating-My-Balls-Off-So-Much-I-Want-To-Kill-Someone-Stage (also known as RLDSMBOSMIWTKSS for simplicity). I need not stress the importance and severity of the issue, since as a general rule the longer the initialism the worse the problem is. According to Matthew DeLisi, a sociologist at Iowa State University, higher temperatures can increase human aggression. And in case you think this guy is crazy, another PhD Brad Bushman, a psychologist at the University of Michigan agrees with the findings:
Hot temperatures make people cranky and irritable…Cranky, irritable people are prone to aggression.
Global Warming
Unfortunately for us, irritability is just the beginning. DeLisi says that when temperatures increase people tend to go outdoors more often, and consequently the amount of social interaction among these new berserko zombie people will increase. This of course is a recipe for disaster!
It's already happening!
The study also mentions that because of all this new aggression caused by Global Warming, we can expect an increase in genocide and war. This of course explains the wars in Iraq, and Afghanistan. We couldn’t find weapons of mass destruction because our President had been infected by Global Warming!
Not War Crimes, Just Global Warming!
If becoming a berserko zombie wasn’t bad enough, Michigan’s Bushman reminds us,
The fact that hot people are more aroused but think they are less aroused means that they overreact to provocations.
If there is anything worse than a berserko zombie, it’s a horny berserko zombie! Upon further investigation I’ve concluded Bushman’s assessment is correct.
Even Animals Are Affected!
It’s come to my attention that the expression “hump like rabbits” is a recent development. Historically rabbits were much like the Jonas Brothers: rarely engaging in any sort of sexual activity. However, the phrase started to gain in popularity as rabbits were increasingly found boinking in public. Incidentally, the increase in rabbit boinking coincided with the release of Al Gore’s book, “Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit” in 1992. Coincidence? I think not! The rabbits were trying to warn us of the impending horny berserko zombie epidemic brought about by Global Warming!
Climatologists, prophets, and heroes
The following image is a scientifically calculated estimation on how the final stages of Global Warming will unravel:
The Final Stages of Global Warming
Global warming is a serious subject that just ignoring is NOT going to resolve! Thanks for the enlightening blog post. Thanks for spreading the message. This blog is surely bookmarked! If you need more information on global warming, or the carbon tax, take a look at Carbonizm it really helped me understand it more.
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